13 May 2016

3 Lies You Shouldn't Believe about Entrepreneurial Marriages.

People don't tell the truth for a variety of reasons. 
Sometimes they want to protect themselves. 
Sometimes they want to protect others. 
Often they have something to hide. 

Occasionally time has caused them to forget the truth, 
or the truth has changed 
or been redefined 
or been lost.  

Here are 3 lies you shouldn't believe about Entrepreneurial Marriages:

Lie #1: Love Will Save Us...

Many couples get stuck in this idea that love should just flow constant and free, every moment of every Instagram worthy day. The problem with this frame of reference is that couples start to question their relationship when there is difficulty or conflict. In actuality, being in a long-term relationship with anyone is probably one of the hardest things you WILL EVER do in your life. 

When you are with someone who has different needs, preferences, expectations, habits, style, taste, etc., etc.,  and you are spending a lot of time together, those differences become highly (and sometimes irrationally) accentuated. 

Entrepreneurial Marriages are no different. In fact, they have such a unique set of qualities that oftentimes the relationship has to be scheduled around the business. It takes work to take time away from ventures that peek your interests and fuel your passion. Marriage takes effort, patience and time. It is an aspect of your relationship that requires attention. It will keep you connected when other aspects are pulling you apart. 

Keep in mind that the feeling of love doesn't always proceed the act of loving someone. Love will only find a way if you give it room to exist and then grow it.

Lie #2: SOMEDAY it will all be worth it...

There is this false belief that if you finally attain financial success that all the horrible, hard, scary and stupid decisions you've ever made get erased in the "well, we made it." status. While the media seems to flock to the idea that Entrepreneurs who gamble their families' future and livelihood are heroes, for most Entrepreneurial venturers it's really not quite as glamorous as it sounds written on the pages of Forbes.  For every one success there are hundreds who are barely keeping their company afloat, and a handful of others that just closed their doors.

In the world of Entrepreneurship it is easy to get caught up in the hope that financial success means personal success. And while it can, it's no guarantee and it certainly doesn't come without it's costs. Sacrifice comes in many forms. It won't erase damages or hardships or hurts along the way and those hardships and difficulties don't automatically become sanctified when you arrive to a point at which you can say "we made it".

Besides what does "we made it" mean anyway?  

Lie #3: We will be happy when...  

Things slow down or maybe after things speed up. When the company gets going a little more. When we have time to travel. When we have time to settle down. However you finish this sentence remember that no partner, time in life or object (house, car, etc.)  is going to complete us. 

The trouble with believing this myth is that when we buy into it, we begin looking to our partner, our achievements or our things to make us feel complete. And when we look outside ourselves to find that validation we lose sight of the real power we have to create happiness within ourselves.

While happiness is both co-dependent and independent of your partner, your mate isn’t primarily responsible for your happiness. They can create, enhance or take away from your happiness in many aspects, but if you’re looking to your spouse to make you happy, you’re putting unrealistic pressure on the relationship. (And adding that on top of an entrepreneurial venture isn't the best recipe for success.) 

Love will save you if you work on your love.
Someday won't come tomorrow unless you create it today.
And instead of dreaming of happiness open your eyes... it's there.